you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
