We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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