You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
