I got chris browned last night
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
