omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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