also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
