why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
