Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I want a musical about memes.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
