My first STD was from a foam party
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
