So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Randomize
