You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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