AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Randomize
