I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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