shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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