I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
