I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
