my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
