he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
he had hair everywhere except his balls
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