i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
