glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
