Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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