I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
