do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
