it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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