Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
