you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
