Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
third nipple confirmed
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
