whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My feet surprised me
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