Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
two words: eviction party
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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