Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(901): View more from Tennessee

Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask

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(845): View more from New York

I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge

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(801): View more from Utah

He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...

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(606): View more from Kentucky

VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?

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(208): View more from Idaho

I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year

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(240): View more from Maryland

... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?

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