I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
