nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
ok first of all what the fuck
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
