I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
high people should be assigned attendants
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
