He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
