Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
