I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Randomize
