Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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