we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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