its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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