Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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