Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
