u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
