Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
He shit in the fireplace
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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