yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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