butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
