there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
