last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
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