Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
