So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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