no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
